a veRy BRaDy diaRy

August 4, 2004 - 10:02 pm

::: the whole thing just seeMed like a bad idea ::: we can alL play the retrospective runningback though i guess ::: i mean at this point the entire place was like soMe sort of corporate ghosttowN complete w/ the tumbleweeds & cellphone-slingers clicking heels oN their frequent trips to the meN's rooM ::: a quick walk to the kitchen to get a coffee ::: a stop at the fax machine or in the copyrooM ::: no where in the entire global village was there a feeling of satisfaction or of cozy ovenmitts ::: people barely looking eachother in the face : griM lower jaw & chin massages before answering the next office call : lunchtiMe being the most exciting part of the day [ 'hey, i just got something accomplished, i feel good now, i just ate some lunch!' ] ::: >>>

city sidewalks bustling w/ people running to & fro to absolutely nowhere ::: buses & minivans hummers & suvs driving here nor there to noplace ::: children on the sidewalks holding sandwich boards screeching at the top of their lungs 'free lemonade!' ::: now ain't that the pot callin' the kettle black? ::: where are the really saucy little tramps with the wild eyes & the tousled hair, mascara running down their desperate sullen cheekbones? ::: where are the filthy little white boys w/ knee-cut jeans, elbows bloody froM such raw economy of youth? ::: who ate all the candy? ::: >>>

abducted

::: ha ha hah :::

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August 05, 2004 - 12:52 pm

i think i've come to realize that i don't really exist ::: >>>

i meaN : i wake up i clean up i commute to i work i commute from i clean up & i go to sleep ::: i eat whenever i can fit this things in ::: my relaxation tiMe is the commuting part : i listen to cassettes & wear my whitestrips ::: >>>

but overall : it is like i am an imaginary ::: >>>

::: ha ha hah :::

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July 30, 2004 - 4:29 pm

:::::::::::::& so it's alL good yo ::: >>>

i know i should just concentrate oN being the best damned database administrator & poet on the East Coast — but i can't help to examine the nuances of daily life — the ebb the flow the low tide & organicism of intrapersonal relationships — you know? ::: i don't know how maNy days of the week i give the guy a calL ::: that Jorgi ::: & to what avail? ::: how the yo-yo goes up how the yo-yo goes down ::::::::: just to catch up really ::: not necessarily to find out about life's little accomplishments or aNy of that really ::: just to catch up really ::: >>>

he is obsessed w/ this woman & she perhaps w/ he & they keep having this very strange relationship ::: a chemical a physical an emotional thing ::: the fever i guess the tumultuousness of summertide ::: they are oN each other like animals one minute & then the next they are lovelorn & divorced disconnected like the antlers shed from the african plain giraffe ::: what can you do? ::: i only call & offer to listen & provide no such advice ::::::::::::::::: he has even revealed to me on several aN occasion that he sometimes breaks the relationship because he enjoys to watch her walk away froM him ::: he knows she wilL return & they wilL once again be like that little bowL of fruit oN the kitchentable of life agaiN once agaiN & so ::: >>>

you can only try & push
& try agaiN & i give & calL
& try to help & then i coMe
to realize that it's alL for
knots because i'm truly
a filler for Jorgi ::: that's
alL i caN figure ::: the
inbetweeN whilst he
waits ::: the oNe that
remaiNs solid like soMe
sort of puncuatioN
the safety zoNe the
laundrybasket you
caN coMe back to
tiMe & tiMe agaiN
& you know it wilL
be there for you
the little wicker
basket w/ a few
coloured socks
oN the bottoM

tried & true

forgotteN

abducted

::: ha ha hah :::

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July 30, 2004 - 4:15 pm

i have seemed to notice lately that Jorgi calls or communicates only when he has nothing to doO ::: you know? ::: & this is not something that seeMs fair or makes me happy about our relationship iN many regards if you catch my draft ::: >>>

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: but

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: it's alL good

::::::::::::::::::::::: i aM listening to the LLCoolJ ::: so this makes me happy regardless of the treatment i sometiMes get froM friends & associates ::: you know? ::: >>>

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: doin' it welL

know what i'm sayin'? ::: >>>

i represent Queens she was raised up in Brooklyn ::: >>>

::: ha ha hah :::

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