June 23, 2008 - 5:20 am

veRy sad news to hear ... sad words to say or to blog too ... but George Carlin passed away last nite due to heart issues ::: aN amazingly successful stand-up comedian that truly touched my life ::: >>>

ever siNce i moved to this country ... seeing meN like George Carlin get up oN stage & pontificate oN the comedy ... bringing a sense of hilarity to the ofttiMes mundane ... opeNing our eyes to certaiN things we already soMehow have observed but not yet articulated oN quite the way that George Carlin had doNe yet ... just aN amazing inspiratioN for the world ::: >>>

oN his comedy routiNes he is best known for controversial subject matters like this '7 Dirty Words' ... & this landed him in the Supreme Court i guess according to the Wikipedia entries ... but i recalL soMe hilarious footage of hiM on the stage for the HBO talking about the difference between cats & dogs ... i definitely needed to check wipe after that oNe, no? ::: completely hilarious & w/ only a few explicatives iN there ::: >>>

:::: George Carlin always questioned the norMs of social conventioNs & iN oNe act he talked about the moMent of silence ::: completely silly commentary about a group of handicap Bolivian senior citizens that went flying off a rollercoaster & how perhaps we should have a moment of screaming ... these people just died, no? the screams are more appropriate ::: but just as mellow as his departure, a simple walk to the hospital & a heart attack good bye, perhaps it is more apt to take a little Google search & see that he will truly be missed ... we will not scream, we will not laugh or cry at his leaving this blue orb, but instead we will talk about George Carlin & praise his work here & his strange antisocial sense of humanity ... you made us laugh ... laugh at ourselves ... & at all the idiots out there in the world that make our planet a fncked up nightmare of a place ::: >>>

there is nothing left to do but laugh

thank you George

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January 13, 2008 - 2:27 pm

okay ... as disgusting as this is sound ... i just entered the restrooM here oN the office [ doin' a little overtiMe, no? ], & like ... okay, the restrooM just smells a bit like the fishsticks ::: completely makes me wince ::: i look around, nobody in here but me, you know? ::: >>>

::::::: so, what's a guy to do, right? ::: what happened on here? ::: i guess i caN understand if this odiferous end-result were oN the ladies rooM, no? you catch my draft? ::: but, er, ehm ... what is this? this fish? did soMeoNe completely blow a load oN the cold, dark tiles? from whence & where did this fragrancy derive? it certainly blows my mind, this is for sure & certain ::: >>>

i sit, i pee, i hum some song i recall from The Housemartins, do a quick checkwipe, go out & do the wash up & then leave ... but there is an air of mystery here, no? ::: Sunday ... the fishstick smells ... the men's rooM ... i imagine a quick visit froM Christ himself, just stopping by to remind us all of the loaves & the fishes ... a different take on the loaves, in this case, entirely though, no? ::: >>>

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November 29, 2007 - 11:39 pm

aight ::: so this morning on the officeplace i had to deaL w/ this complete aSshole, no? ::: you know what i meaN, right? ::: this guy is like the opeNface, roastbeef rare sort of aSshole ::: just completely annoyiNg to me ::: eveN oN the thought of hiM, no? ::: >>>

so, fncking Steve, he coMes up to me ::: welL first let me explaiN a bit about Steve ::: you see, Steve is in Sales ... i aM on IT — Steve's got the fancy schmancy suits ... i caN dress moRe casually, no? — Steve's got a big, red automobile ... i use the Segway for my commutings — Steve has the nice, fulL head of hair ... i have the Friar Tuck thing going oN, you see? not as appealing, not as appealing — oN Saturdays Steve goes out alot & socializes w/ the ladyfolk & whatnot ... i typically read up on the Sarbane's Oxley policies & do a bit of remote database clean-up to help oN performance issues ::: >>>

so, fncking Steve, he coMes up to me ::: welL first let me explaiN a bit about Steve ::: he's got this annoying habit of chewing oN a single paperclip the entire tiMe he is talking to you ::: makes me hurt a little behind the ears ::: & then he's always sort of leaning forward to talk to you w/ these confidential undertonings ::: always saying thiNgs like 'touch base' & 'absolutely' ... always trying to establish new points of pain w/ his clientelle ::: he orders magazines to coMe to hiM on the company mailbox, no? & then he never reads them or take them home ::: he wears entirely too much cologne ::: he goes to the gym on lunchtiMe alot ... well, at least on the days he doesn't have a previous lunch commitment the rat bastard ::: he soMetiMes reaches up midconversation to do the nosepick with his thumb & forefinger ... & i bet he thinks i aM not onto hiM on this one, but i am! ::: anyhow ...

 

... so Steve, he coMes up to me ::: he coMes up to me & he starts to telling me about his weekend, no? ::: about how he's out oN this date w/ this womaN Jessica, she's got red hair & blue eyes .... but theN he goes into the manman details ... alL about her tits ... about how big-chested Jessica is & alL that jazz, no? ::: so, i am a bit turned off, no? ::: he leans back & gives me the wink & the double-click noise froM the corner of his mouth, like 'now that's soMe prime aSs real estate' is the suggestion he's gettin' soMe later oN this story, no? ::: >>>

so, for instance ::: oN another day, right? ::: Steve coMes up to me ::: & he knows i don't follow the sports game oN televisioN or eveN oN the radio, right? ::: so he coMes up to me oN a Monday & he says, like, he goes 'did you see the gaMe oN Saturday? pretty close one, eh?' ::: after a few tiMes of this sort of manly banter, i'm like 'like i could give the flying fr!kk Steve, huh? who cares? why don't you go & selL something today, no?' ::: [ of course it is a mediumrare occassioN that i say anything like this though ] ::: i'm like 'Steve, why don't you go fly kites w/ a footbalL uniforMs on, alright?' ::: man, that is the good oNe ::: >>>

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so, like ::: theN this morNing ::: like ... flashback, no? ::: Steve, wheN he first coMes up to me, no? ::: he goes like 'BRaDy! how's it goin'?' like almost iN that annoying Sopranoese that goes oN nowadays ... you know of what i aM speakiNg, no? ::: that whole 'how YOU doin'?' kind of bnllsh!t ::: just terribly annoying all around, no? ::: so he's like, 'BRaDy ... quick questioN' ::: soMe sort of office shorthand ... the whole military lastname shout out was enough to make me want to bash his face back onto his mother's womb & alL ... but then the entire lack of the sentence structure ... i meaN ... aren't you missing the 'i have a ... for you' part of the dialog oN that 'quick questioN' iteM up there, Steve? ::: what's the matter? cat got youR tongue? ::: canary got your tonsils? ::: fish got youR larynx? ::: c'mon Steve ::: let's get English, aight? ::: let's do it right w/ phonix & alL that shizzat, no? ::: but anyhow ...

... so Steve is alL like 'BRaDy ... quick questioN' ::: & i like completely exhale out iotafuls of frustratioN & retort w/ a little bit of a 'yes?' ::: so, he's like 'what happened to the server over the weekend BRaDy? i couldn't access anything remote for like 3 hours oN Saturday ... needed to get soMe reports doNe for the audit' ::: first of alL ... like take a breather, eh Steve ::: Saturdays are meant for watching Xanadu oN cable w/ your pants off while eating corn oN the cob & puttin' back a few coronas, no? ::: i mean, this is Saturday we're talkin' about here Steve ... i thought you were out there w/ Jessica [ but this coMes later oN after iN the conversatioNs ... he uses this server issue talk to break the Monday ice ] ::: so now he's doing the whole super subtle thumbpick thiNg while he's waiting for my reply about the server issues, right? & i am doing alL i caN not to bust the nuts laughiNg right oN his fr!kkeN face ::: this guy is definitely oN the border of the humaN species if you catch my draft ... a true primitive ... a corporate fauvist so to speak ::: >>>

:::: : : :::::::::: ::: :::::: :::: ::: : :::

Steve oh Steve i aM thinkiNg of Steve & he's a complete nutjob as they say as they say ::: but this is beside the point, no? ::: he gets the numbers doNe & theN goes above & beyond expectatioNs by keepiNg his expenditures oN the low side of the scales ::: but anyhow ::: he's sitting there w/ the thumb curled up underneath, fingers curled up forward like soMe sort of nosepickiNg chipmunk, right? ::: i crack a cheshire smile & say to him 'as far as i know Steve alL systeMs were a go ... there was soMe latent activity at about nooN but it should not have drastically effected performance ... soMe server variables clogged the pipeliNes on Sunday evening, but the activity log shows that noOne was really on at that tiMe anyway ::: want me to check in w/ Bill?' & i leave it alL cold & remote like that giving hiM the cold stares & watchiNg Mr. Thumb dig for the big oNes, eh? ::: >>>

i took everything i have inside of me not to just completely explode oN his face iN gleeful giggles at his nosepicking activities ... i meaN here is a growN man, right? ::: a successful salesman ::: a civilized maN about towN ::: a maN of sophisticatioN & claSs ... worldly & acknowledged by the civil courts, no? ::: & there he goes w/ the thumb up the nose ::: Steve, my friend ::: you go girl ... you go girrrl ::: ::: >>>

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