March 07, 2002 - 2:00 am

after long day today : i realize that things are not all that they seeM : besides being followed by my mysterious-like stalking co-worker — i am also to notice soMe other things that have been mysterious & puzzling much to my befuddlement & dismay :

visit big 80 blues online ::: >>> for instance — when i went onto my computer midday — after my break & alL this — i opened up my internet explorer only to find a link to a site bookmarked at the bottom of my bookmarks, by favourites : — soMe geocities little number — you know? : so i click on this & it brings me to the big 80 blues site — the poetry section has this little subsection of poetica kindly labelled Nixon in a Coma : click thru this thing my friends — this is no ordinary site : there is something protomystical & netherworldly about what you encounter on big 80 : ufo : conspiracy : Nixon : mohave : shellshock : prehistory : a very bizzaree site indeed ::: >>>


who put this little favourite in my internet explorer version 4.0? :

it must've gone done like these : i go out for a break — i leave my work — take a drive & get a submarine sandwich w/ a diet coke [ & a cookie too — a pretty decent cookie at that ] : while i am away — oof ::: >>> or 'out of office' as they said <<< ::: someone opens up my computer & puts this link this favourite this undesirable distraction upon my machine :


i think they are trying to lead me to something — no? :

what could it be? : who are they & what do they want from me? :

they are trying to manipulate my mind — no? : trying to deviate me from my primary purpose on the job :

things get alL fuzZy after this incident iN my mind :

i recall sitting on my chair at my desk : a few hours had seemed to pass : i do not even know what it is i was doing : just the tiMe — it had flown :

i checked my coffeecup — my little paper officecup w/ lid & such — swirling it around to see how much liquid is left inside for consumption — no? : there is a tiny swig & so i swig it up — down the throat — a disgusting cold remnant of what once was — a putrid icecold milkshake of coffee w/ some grinds to the bottom : i throw my cup away & then something in my wastepaperbasket catches my eye : what the ...?


i look a bit closer : a crimsoness stains the shiny trashbag lining : i pull the wastepaperbasket out from beneath my desk for a closer inspection only to find 3 fingers mixed in w/ the coffeecup & randomn crumpled scraps of discarded paperwork from the first half of my day : 3 fingers : blood : the bone protruding : i look left & right & it is business as usual — noone notices my disdain my surprise my discovery : i casually reach in to see if they feel warm to the touch & they are stone cold [ well — like stones in the snow in a wintertime forest — not like stones on a bermuda triangle soft pink beach ] :


i do not know what to do :

they are in my wastepaperbasket :

do i contact hr? : they are lost & found — no? :

do i simply ask around? :

or look around to see if any coworkers are recently w/o 3 fingers? :


noone is in pain — no agony — most people are surfing amazon for a cd or something from what i can see — or — talking to someone on the phone or something :

someone's cellphone goes off & plays a classical music motif in an electronic array of ups & downs — the counterpoint of commerce — a mechanical memory of something somewhat cultural artificially injected into a business communication device to make the end-user feel — well — cultural i guess :

i don't know what to do & so i reach in w/ a papertowel that i had in my desk drawer from the men's bathroom facilities & wrap them in the papertowel & put them together in my middle desk drawer :


maybe someone will come by looking for their 3 missing fingers :



why 3? :



what are they trying to tell me? : what are they trying to get me to do? :



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