March 07, 2002 - 2:00 am

after long day today : i realize that things are not all that they seeM : besides being followed by my mysterious-like stalking co-worker � i am also to notice soMe other things that have been mysterious & puzzling much to my befuddlement & dismay : for instance � when i went onto my computer midday � after my break & alL this � i opened up my internet explorer only to find a link to a site bookmarked at the bottom of my bookmarks, by favourites : � soMe geocities little number � you know? : so i click on this & it brings me to the big 80 blues site � the poetry section has this little subsection of poetica kindly labelled Nixon in a Coma : click thru this thing my friends � this is no ordinary site : there is something protomystical & netherworldly about what you encounter on big 80 : ufo : conspiracy : Nixon : mohave : shellshock : prehistory : a very bizzaree site indeed ::: >>> � who put this little favourite in my internet explorer version 4.0? : it must've gone done like these : i go out for a break � i leave my work � take a drive & get a submarine sandwich w/ a diet coke [ & a cookie too � a pretty decent cookie at that ] : while i am away � oof ::: >>> or 'out of office' as they said <<< ::: someone opens up my computer & puts this link this favourite this undesirable distraction upon my machine : � i think they are trying to lead me to something � no? : what could it be? : who are they & what do they want from me? : they are trying to manipulate my mind � no? : trying to deviate me from my primary purpose on the job : things get alL fuzZy after this incident iN my mind : i recall sitting on my chair at my desk : a few hours had seemed to pass : i do not even know what it is i was doing : just the tiMe � it had flown : i checked my coffeecup � my little paper officecup w/ lid & such � swirling it around to see how much liquid is left inside for consumption � no? : there is a tiny swig & so i swig it up � down the throat � a disgusting cold remnant of what once was � a putrid icecold milkshake of coffee w/ some grinds to the bottom : i throw my cup away & then something in my wastepaperbasket catches my eye : what the ...? � i look a bit closer : a crimsoness stains the shiny trashbag lining : i pull the wastepaperbasket out from beneath my desk for a closer inspection only to find 3 fingers mixed in w/ the coffeecup & randomn crumpled scraps of discarded paperwork from the first half of my day : 3 fingers : blood : the bone protruding : i look left & right & it is business as usual � noone notices my disdain my surprise my discovery : i casually reach in to see if they feel warm to the touch & they are stone cold [ well � like stones in the snow in a wintertime forest � not like stones on a bermuda triangle soft pink beach ] : � i do not know what to do : they are in my wastepaperbasket : do i contact hr? : they are lost & found � no? : do i simply ask around? : or look around to see if any coworkers are recently w/o 3 fingers? : � noone is in pain � no agony � most people are surfing amazon for a cd or something from what i can see � or � talking to someone on the phone or something : someone's cellphone goes off & plays a classical music motif in an electronic array of ups & downs � the counterpoint of commerce � a mechanical memory of something somewhat cultural artificially injected into a business communication device to make the end-user feel � well � cultural i guess : i don't know what to do & so i reach in w/ a papertowel that i had in my desk drawer from the men's bathroom facilities & wrap them in the papertowel & put them together in my middle desk drawer : � maybe someone will come by looking for their 3 missing fingers : � � why 3? : � � what are they trying to tell me? : what are they trying to get me to do? : � �