well, perhaps the most embarassing thing on the world happened
to me this morning at the coffeeshop that i usually stomp on :::
i was standing in the line, minding my own bee's wax really, and
slowly making some progress amongst the morning queue at the cafe
::: alL automotive commuters to the variegated officeparks and
businesses still in the area and not yet offshored seeM to make
the rest stop for the daily caffeine enhancements, no? ::: &
i being among the hip & happening at this & at that i
might add i might say ::: but anyhow, i finally make it to the
front of the line, and usually i have my correct change already
in hand, ready and raring to go as they said ::: >>>
well ::: here's what happened ::: >>>
........................ .. ...... ::: i get up the front on
the line, put in my coffee drink order to the cafe counter intelligensia,
the order is wrung out on the register and then i decide to search
for the correct change for my transaction ::: i guess my pockets
are kind of tight, you know? & i put my hand on the pocket
and as i closed my fingers into a fist around the pocket contents,
the relative mass & volume of my hand increased in such a
way as to make difficulty in pulling out the pocket contents,
the change that i so needed for my coffeetiMe purchasings :::
i tug & pull & yank & still w/ a tight fist around
coinage tug a bit more & then ...
... alL of a suddeN ...
... i succeed in the retrieval of my hand froM my pocket, right?
but unfortunately for the womaN directly behind me, with the outswing
of my hand, fist and arM, in the heat oN the moment, i completely
elbowed the woman queued behine me right in the vagina ::: i felt
so utterly horrible & simultaneously accomplished at the same
time [ after all, i had finally fished out
the correct change for my coffee and midmorning commuting snackage
] ::: well, to be honest on you, i didn't at first realize the
amount of labial pain i had inflicted on the businesswoman to
my backside, you known? it wasn't until after i had coffee in
hand and pastry too w/ a quick, energetic spiN of the legs and
torso on feet that i noticed the poor woman completely hobbled
over, nearly sitting native american style upon the cool, tiled
floor ::: many people were staring on me w/ disapproval ::: my
smile washed to an awkward open-mouthed expression of confusion
& dismay ::: i stopped & helped the woman to her feet,
sat her down at one of the cabaret-style seating arrangements
on the floor, near the pastry display case ::: >>>
'aRe you okay lady?' i asked with alL the heartfelt warmth &
empathy a person such as myself can muster 'why are you crying
like this miss?' ::: >>>
after soMe heated discussion we exchanged information so that
i could follow up to make sure she is vaginally restored to her
pre-elbowed state of being [ although honestly,
is it not her fault for not taking a step back & giving me
the appropriate & patriotic invisible bubble of individual
freedoM & stance rightly issued us in the declaration of independence?
or should she not have considered wearing some sort of sports
protection until firmly planted on her ergonomic + secure chair
on the officeplace on the work? i mean, seriously, i claim no
guarantee's to never again accidentally 'bump' across another
person thusly so closely queued to my hindquarters, especially
so closely positioned to my coin-fishing limbage ]
::: ha ha hah :::
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