August 05, 2002 - 9:14 am

soMeday my friends ::: you shalL see ::: >>>


a pretty blandday i guess at work ::: in comparison to the last few weeks i guess everyday life caN be construed as bland ::: >>>

put the money where the mouth is ::: >>>per office usua — i am veRy coffee thirsty : besides my typical workaday obligatioNs at the office — i now have a mystery to solve & i know not where to begin — i feeL as if — i feeL as if — as if i am constantly — yeS — aS if i aM constantly repeating myself ::: as if this haS alL happeNed before — thiS has alL beeN doNe before perhaps — thiS haS alL beeN repeated [ try to keep this a secret though aS i aM not sure the world is ready for thiS notioN or that notioN or any of thiS my friends ] ::: >>>

aNyhow ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: what i aM saying to you my friends is that i aM extremely bored on the workplace ::::::::::: no doubt about them ::::::::::::::::: yeS dreary & subsequentially bored out of the mind :::::::::: perhaps losing it at tiMes & such :::::::::::::::: i find myself almost blacking out for periods of tiMe — no emaiL alerts to awake me — & theN — i coMe out of my little officeplace ennui funk of sorts & fiNd myself staring at the keyboard w/ my right hand on the mouse — a sort of americaN officeplace salute of sorts — a low bow & humbliNg submissioN to the technology that makes a hummer of this fiNe natioN ::::::::::::::::: >>>

how do you say 'hello'?

& so it goeS oN & on ::::: & so it goeS on & oN ::::: & oveR & oveR ::::: day iN day out — nite iN nite out — the whole 9 — the 24 to the 7 — oveR & oveR — agaiN & agaiN :::::::::::: nod youR head my brothers & sisters nod youR head ::: >>>

 

& theRe is nothing to doO about it at that either & or my friends ::: it iS bound to repeat & be the saMe — or at least soMe elements returN to make it alL veRy sticky & familiaR ::: a co-worker froM a previous workplace soMe how coMes to work at your company or soMething like this & it brings back memories of the sink that always backed up at the other workplace w/ the big staiN on the rug & that musty smelL iN the office kitcheN ::: alL veRy annoying — no? ::: >>>

 

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July 14, 2002 - 5:45 am

can't a guy pee in peace? ::: >>>


welL ::::::::::::: there's nothing like the surreality of the office meN's rooM ::: >>>

no howdy's today my friends & for thiS we caN be utterly thankfuL ::: aS i despise the howdy — for instant — who really says howdy anymoRe? ::: i am not cowboy ::: i aM no countrywesterN bankrobber — i aM definitely not to be playing for the fooL ::: just veRy suspicious salutatioNaL jargoN if you ask me :::::::::::: soMe expressioN that i think caN only truly live w/o sidestares & mistrust froM within the US Military i would think ::::: yeS :::::: that would be the only appropriate place i caN imagiNe that no heads would turN in complete disgust to identify a guilty howdy-doer ::: >>>

so — no howdy's thank fr!kkeN god ::: >>>

 

but ::: i walk in & in my urinary anticipatory bursting near-cataclysmicK hurrying — i quickly walk into the meN's rooM & turn to use the 1 & only urinal for a quickstop relief of my overfulL mourning bladder ::: & ::: i almost smack into the back of soMe rather talL & gangly rickocasek-like employee standing in a downwardly shoulder-slumped stance as if alL of tiMe had stopped for his freakish bathrooM escapades ::: i would have slammed the poor bastard into the cooL white yawning porcelain basin if it weren't for my quick reflexes to avoid this nearly unprofessionaL homo-eroticK incident at the workplace [ i am sure this p!ssing vulture of a maN waS staring intently at soMe piece of guM stuck to the inside left of the urinal commingled w/ random pubic adornments — imagining the guM as soMe sort of squirrel braiN removed early froM said squirrel & carefully placed as a target of sorts for those starch shirts inhaling a mourning waft of cleaN fresh netherlandic toiletwater & tile ] ::: >>>

 

i turned & went into the handicap stall ::::::::::::::: { of course } :::::::::::::: & began to do my mourning business ::: >>>

a minute or 2 later i hear our little pissboy zip up & then walk to the sink in what sound like spiked heels ::: the kachunk kachunk of the soap dispenser & a quick splash { clearly not washing quite enough for sanitary sanity in the workplace } ::: & then the spiked heels clicking across the tiles & out into the officehallway ::: >>>

 

i close my eyes for a moment or 2 & the pinpoint swirly effect of the discobalL inside my head creates a spectacle unavailable for rentaL at aNy movierentaL venue ::: & so my day wilL begiN ::: >>>

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